Stillness In My Center

I had the gift of time this morning:  an asana class with time and space to focus on me, to find me. We watched our breath move, and by watching the movement, I found the stillness. Shiva and Shakti are always together, watching my breath flow and in between there is a certain still point. The instructor led me to pay attention to the movement, the pulsing in and out, the constant flickering of my body and mind – but today I was drawn to the stillness.

I find endless obstacles in my life right now. I am easily distracted – maybe we all are – but the second I open a computer my brain is pulled to Facebook, to a friend’s email, to a question I want to look up. Rolling out my yoga mat at home, there are toddler tears and kid screams and blocks and trains riding alongside me. I find obstacles in home renovations, in not enough money, in habitual snappy attitudes. But when I take a different view, I see these obstacles as constant dynamism … pulsing movement, flowing and ebbing, and a sense of not catching up. That glimpse of stillness this morning was striking.

Finding stillness amidst the movement brings me home to myself.  Or rather, it is home. A center point, still and moving, compact and endlessly wide. What lives there?  

Light, Love, Space.  

I AM.

I AM lives at the center point. Here I AM.  

I, Shiva, the singular and focused and potent and still.

AM, Shakti, the ability, the many, the forms, the practice, moving and directing.  

Here I AM, says the center.

In the spiritual community there is so much talk about desires. “What is your greatest desire? What is your deepest driving force?” When I follow the trail deeper and deeper into myself, it leads me to center and to what I already am. At the center I can awaken to who and what I AM, which is already enough, already complete and fully capable. The center is ripe with potential and possibility and bravery.  Perhaps the greatest of these riches, at the center there is contentment.

Lis McCachren Mitchell is a mama and a birth & human advocate. She weaves yoga into her practice of heart-centered mothering, creating a small homestead with her partner & three children, and capturing moments for writing about connection & beauty in everyday life. www.heartcenteredmamas.com

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